i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
