WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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