Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
