Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
