gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
