What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
