I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
