I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
