i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
