you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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