Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
