he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
