For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
