omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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