I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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