I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
