***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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