I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
