How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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