I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
