i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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