So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Text me some of your sweat
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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