i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
