she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
