Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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