So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
