Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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