mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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