We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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