HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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