were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
