just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
