I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i will never coherently bang her
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
