So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
