After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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