the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
