Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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