Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
