were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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