he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
