there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
