But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
