i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
