and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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