everyone is single if you try hard enough
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
