id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
