tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
