Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
