We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
