if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
