i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
