i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
