the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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